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Today’s post on personal development is by Amanda Rom. Thank you Amanda for your contribution!
Growing, evolving, changing whatever you want to call it, is a normal cycle that we all have to go through. Being able to distinguish the things that work for you and the ones that no longer work, is one of the hardest things we all have to deal with in our growth journey.
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Finding who you truly are means putting yourself in an uncomfortable inner position where you have to go back and release limiting beliefs, other people’s opinions, words, and actions that hurt you when you were younger. It’s about finding your passions and hobbies, about trying and failing until you discover what fulfills your soul.
Healing your inner self is like a rollercoaster, but it’s an important part to find who you truly are. From time to time, you will feel all this energy and motivation to eat healthy, workout, journal every morning or be grateful for everything that happened during the day.
Other times, you will feel drained and nothing will seem amusing enough to put you in the mood to get out of bed and focus on pursuing your goals, you’ll think that you’re not making any progress. But in reality, you’ve grown, you have made those inner changes, and you’re not the same person you were a few days or even hours ago.
I’ve been through this journey for a few years now, but it wasn’t until recently when I actually started seeing the progress that I was making. I’m soon going to be 23 and I feel great about the person who I’m becoming, and in this post, I’m going to give you my best-unsolicited advice that will hopefully guide you or help you through your journey of finding yourself.
It’s about you not others
When I first started to find my true self. I used to ask people how they felt about me plus if I should change certain actions that I did or how to improve them so I could become a better person. I made the mistake of trying to be who others wanted me to be, instead of focusing on being who I truly wanted to be.
This is extremely important when you’re starting out. Mostly if you’re constantly looking for validation. Remember that this is not about them. It’s about you. And in order to find who you truly are, you need to focus on yourself, not others.
It gets lonely
When you start focusing on yourself, things will get pretty lonely. There will be people in your life who are not going to like the fact that you’re working on yourself. Because that means that you’re not going to give them your time freely like before and that sucks for them.
Remember you’re not being selfish for focusing on yourself. Keep your boundaries and make time for those who value you, who are there for you and who you know understand that what you’re doing is to become your best self and has nothing to do with them.
Healing is uncomfortable
If there’s something I want you to get from this post, it is that healing will be painful. Like I mentioned before, you need to release everything that is no longer serving you. If you don’t, you’re going to keep living life trying to avoid that pain instead of living freely.
Something that helped me a lot during this process was to write it down. Feel the pain, the anger, the frustration, everything that arises and let it go. Release it by feeling it. I know it sounds a bit harsh but trust me on this one, it works. Michael A. Singer states this in his book called “The Untethered Soul”.
It requires discipline
All around social media women are sharing their routines and how-to guides to become “that girl” and while that can be empowering to some degree, it’s crucial that you create your own routines and lifestyle. See what works and what doesn’t work for you. If you try to follow a routine that is not suitable for your lifestyle or the one you’re trying to build, then you’ll give up pretty soon. When motivation is not there, discipline and habits are needed. Therefore, build a routine that allows you to keep working on your goals without overwhelming you in your low days.
Vulnerability is part of the process
We are social beings by nature. And from time to time you’re going to need someone to share your progress and improvements with. Make sure that these people have an open mind, value, and empower you. It’s important to surround yourself with people who understand and do not judge what you’re doing.
When healing you’re in a vulnerable state and having negative or envious people surrounding you can drain your energy and it can affect your journey. If you feel that you’re better off alone, so be it. You’ll find the right people as soon as your energy shifts. I know it for sure, believe in it, and be open-minded.
To wrap it up
Know that you’re not alone, there’s someone out there going through the same or a similar journey as you. I know it can get hard, but you’ve got this. I believe in you. I could keep going but those are the most helpful points that I wanted to share in this post. I want to finish this post with this amazing quote “if no one invests in you, invest in yourself”. Thank you so much Mariam for allowing me to write this piece. I’m beyond grateful.
About the Author
Hello! I’m Amanda, a brand strategist, digital marketing student, and blogger at Hype your Gals – a career + wellness blog where I share educational and empowering content for fellow female creatives who need a pick me up or simply some hype words to keep owning their magic. You can follow my work at @hypeyourgals on IG and my personal account is at @amandaxrom on IG, TikTok, Pinterest, and Snapchat. I’m always there if you ever need to talk. Thanks for reading and hope you have an awesome day!